just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
