lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
