Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize