well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
