At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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