My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize