the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
