Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
