remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
