You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
