I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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