Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
