I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
