You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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