is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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