My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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