I want to make a zoo with you.
I am spending my child support on dildos
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
