how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
