I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
