I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize