I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
