I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
