i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize