But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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