I accidentally burped into my bong.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
