That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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