just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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