I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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