Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
