Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
