Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
