Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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