I seem to have left my pride at pride
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
