You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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