We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We were destined to go to rehab together
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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