this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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