the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize