Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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