peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize