Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
