now i know why i became what i already was.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
