Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My butt remains clenched, sir.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
