if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize