Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
