yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
