He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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