new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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