Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize