So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We need to get me chipped asap
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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