Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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