If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
