Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
