He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Non-Jews are for practice
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
