im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
