...so i touched it.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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