so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
