He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
