i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
