I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
