Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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