Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
