im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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