we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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