Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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