it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
