yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
