also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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