Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
