Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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