So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
