She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
