Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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