Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Randomize